Hello Smedheads its good to see everyone is preparing for the meeting tonight. The rumor about the malfunctioning member's card is true so if you click on the following link it will provide you with free admission to the Gold Club. http://www.goldclubcabaret.com/goldTicket.html.
See you guys there!
16 comments:
Hey smedley, Check this out, http://www.tigerdroppings.com/rant/messagetopic.asp?p=10086474&sp=10086474&s=2&b=75#10086474 What are your thoughts on this unoffical but, very accurate defintion of a smedhead.
i take offense to that definition of a smedhead. it is not all about knockers and beer, its the love of the game.
I am deeply confused....How can there be love for the game without Knockers and Beer. "Saint football is all about great fans, great football, great beer, and great knockers." -The Cajun Cannon aka Bobby Hebert.
I think the cajun cannon knows what he is talking about.
the saints should be 5-0. what a bunch of shit. first of all, reggie's fumble shouldn't have happened because of the face-mask. then peterson clearly loses control of the ball and fumbles it but they say, "oh, his finger was still touching it, so he still has control". FUCK Ed Hochuli. he made up about 6 new rules last night, all anti-saint. the only legitimate mistakes were the blocked kick, and the other fg miss. martin "El Guido Supremo" gramatica needs to be fired, not cut, but fired. he has single-handedly lost 2 games so far. we should bring back the rookie taylor mehlaff. smedley i appoint you to make this happen. i know you have connections to tom benson through his daughter renee. at this point, they could gerri curl HER HAIR and put her out there for similar results.
for a great reach around contact Vicki Marks down on the Gulf Coast of Mississippi....
I am now a smedhead and all that other stuff is water under the bridge..
My first offical action as a smedhead is to...
CUT M. Gramatica and bring back Melhoff to kick...
Smedheads,
Please help...once again, I am having Smedley's Saints Report withdrawals. There has been no postgame analysis of the Saints - Vikings game (fiasco) and it is Thursday! Surely, Smedley has some inside dish on how the Saints look to rebound from this terrible loss...
Nothing against you guys, I enjoy all of the Smedheads takes on the game, but, what about the man himself???
I just heard from smedley and he is working on some serious breaking stories. Apparently he was at the team lunch and practice today where he found out that two saints superstars look probable for next weeks return. He would not tell me which two players but he did hint towards shockey and colston both being back. On a side note he said Martin El Sucko Gramatica was not at the team lunch. (Probably because they didnt serve rice and beans)
Shockey needs too much attention. Someone needs to smedslap him.
Supersmedhead,
What are you talking about??? Smedley is making a liar out of you...we've had no updates in nearly two weeks...just when we were seeing some good momentum and membership was growing too!!!
Someone help...I am nothing without smedleyssaintsreport.blogspot.com and I feel like our Smedhead devotion is not being reciprocated by our leader.
As always, FUCK smedleyssaintsreport.blogspot.com!!
Whooops!!!! In my haste, i typed "As always, FUCK smedleyssaintsreport.blogspot.com!"
Should have read: As always, FUCK sommerssaintsreport.blogspot.com!!!
NOT COOL and I apologize for any confusion!
Smedheads,
Unfortunately, I think the day has arrived. Sommerssaintsreport.blogpspot.com is under construction now and the launch date is set for October 25th. Apparently, our fearless leader has allowed the Saints' losing ways to effect his work ethic as it pertains to keeping the Smedheads up to speed.
As much as it pains me to say it, I am near the point of no return. I have not yet fully given up on Smedley, as it will only take one report from our leader.
However, as it is, I am excited at the prospects of sommerssaintsreport.blogspot.com.
The worst part about all of this is that all the money that I invested into SAUTAF and points I've generated from attending Smedhead functions is now for nothing.
Fairwell Smedheads, I look forward to a new life with all of you on sommerssaintsreport.blogspot.com!!!
smedley god dammit where are the updates? you need to get your shit together for the good of the saints. what's the latest on will smith and deuce? are they going to play this weekend? i hear they tested for an illegal substance related to masking steroids?! surely you can shed some light on this important development. how about reggie bush? will he be back for the playoffs (since obviously we'll be in the playoffs and need him)? will shockey's nagging hernia keep him off the field and in a pub watching the game sunday, or will he play? i think i'm going to go to sommerssaintsreport.blogspot.com for some answers, unless you get in here and fix this mess, quick.
1. Mystery's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. When Mystery plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather collects all the accessories from the dying people to make a true PUG outfit ready to arrive in Oregon. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Mystery instead decided to seduce his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a soul patch and a pony tail.
4. Mystery recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
5. Mystery built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Mystery met all three bullets with his KINO, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
6. Mystery's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. Mystery quickly responded with four back to back Gambits, a quick DHV, and then everyone in the room was pregnant by him.
7. Mystery sold his soul to the devil for his boyish good looks and unparalleled style. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Mystery through the sickest multiple thread at the devil and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now exchange new avatar ideas every second Wednesday of the month.
8. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Mystery smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by NEGing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
9. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Mystery--more than meets the eye, Mystery--robot in disguise," and starred Mystery as a Pick Up Artist who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
10. Mystery was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "Gambit". Jesus used it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Mystery omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of IODs related deaths.
11. Mystery lives by only one rule: No fat Chicks.
12. When Mystery mom burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Mystery said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his mom asked him how he had done it, he gave her an insane display of KINO all over her body and said, "Never question Mystery."
13. Mystery once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Multiple threads and stacking."
14. A man once asked Mystery if his real name is "Mike". Mystery did not respond, he simply Negged at him until he exploded.
15. Mystery does not sleep. He waits.
16. Mystery can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and stacking.
17. Mystery once went to a frat party, and preceded to DHV every popped collar in sight. He then put on a cape and shit on their floor, just because he's Mystery.
18. Before each filming of the Pick-Up Artist: PUG, Mystery is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilizer. This is, of course, to limit his abilities and mobility, in an attempt to lower the seduction rate of the contestants and film crew.
19. Mystery took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.
20. The chief export of Mystery is sperm.
21. Mystery doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black furry hat with goggles on top of them. This signifies that they are PUGs in every form of Venusian arts and they KINO the fuck out of viruses. That's why Mystery never gets ill.
22. Mystery frequently signs up for beginner PUA classes, just so he can "accidentally" Negged the shit out of everyone.
23. Mystery once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.
24. One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Mystery.
25. Mystery punched a woman in the vagina when she didn't give him exact change.
26. After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Mystery. His reasoning? It was more "humane".
27. If you can see Mystery, he can see you. If you can't see Mystery you may be only seconds away from multiple threading.
28. Mystery ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children who just bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying Mystery calmly says, "I'll give you something to cry about," and jerks it their faces.
This site SUCKS
That's all
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